Believing in Me

Every time I go to a doctor they glance at my weight and as if they are a well oiled machine, they spout out the fact that I am obese.  After hearing it time after time again and knowing how "hard" I had been trying to lose weight in the past, I found every excuse to explain why I couldn't lose weight.  I made excuses and I just explained my life away.  But now I am 38 and in May I will be 39.  Now is the time of regrets.

I regret having become the hard head that I have become.  The new fertility doctor I saw a couple weeks ago explained how my weight affects my fertility.  While it isn't the answer completely to my fertility issues, my weight loss could help impact it more positively.  But it wasn't even her words, but rather the words of my family doctor last Friday who said something more amazing.  He told me that he was proud of me losing weight...he noticed. It took positivity to motivate me.  There is truth in the comment that you don't fight fire with fire.

What does this have anything to do with our journey of infertility?

My goal is to be a mom someday.  While listening to Courtney Crozier today , (season 11 Contestant of the show the Biggest Loser,), she spoke about the importance of taking life as one choice at a time as opposed to one day at a time and to make those goals and shoot for them.  She reminded us that life is full of many steps forward followed by taking steps back.  The important thing to remember is to keep taking the steps.  We must take our goals and keep them ahead of us.

My goal of being a mom reminds me that I can do everything I can in my power to try and make that goal possible. However, if I choose not to try and not lose weight then its only me to blame.  I have the keys to my destiny.  Infertility may be what keeps me from becoming a mother to my own natural child, but nothing can keep me from being a mother. The only way to fail at reaching my goal is to give up.  When you give up you no longer take steps forward or backward...you only become stagnant and you don't move.  You fail to live.  I believe in miracles.  I believe in me.  I will not give up.  I will not make excuses any longer. Everyday I will only take a step forward.

This doesn't only pertain to me and to my infertility.  This life lesson is one that all too often we fail to remember in our lives in other areas.  Don't stop believing that you can accomplish something.  Believe that anything is possible.  It may not happen today or tomorrow, but after several tomorrow's that goal and dream may actually come true. Never give up.   Believe in Miracles.