Twas the Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas and all through my house
the only noise I heard was the snoring from my spouse.
Our stockings were hung in the living room with care
Knowing that no baby would still be there.

The fur babies were nestled, one on each side
but it didn't matter as the sadness of infertility I could not hide.
While hugging a pillow and sleeping I'd try,
The empty nursery just led me to cry.

With remote in hand I switched from tv station to station
awaiting some sign of natural ovulation
To my dismay, none this month would happen here.
Disappointed to know no two blue lines would appear.

It's an occurrence that happens to often it true
awaiting to dream about babies in pink an blue.
Eight years of trying every pill and every med,
and putting up your legs each hop into bed.

While to you it may seem silly or routine
but for us its a step towards a dream.
A baby to hold and to love and watch grow
Oh what we'd do...too the extents that we'd go...

Maybe someday things will more complete us
and we'll have us a bigger family for Christmas.
Until then I know that on Christmas Eve,
I'll look at the stars and whisper, "In Miracles I Believe."

For if God can give a virgin a baby boy Savior,
God can grant me this little favour.
God listen to my prayers and hear them please;
I'd like a little face to wipe when they sneeze.
A hand to hold, a face to kiss,
A part of me that right now I so miss.

And as you hear my prayer know that I am grateful so,
for all that you have given me, but this you already know.
Please help me to make my life more complete
and give me the pitter patter of little feet.



I wrote this today as I was thinking about the holidays so quickly approaching.  Holidays can be one of the most difficult days to deal with infertility.  While I have been doing well and handling the holidays without much difficulty, I know that quickly this can turn at the drop of a hat.  It can take one thing to occur to cause the tears and the sadness to turn on like the Niagara Falls.  This Christmas I am much more blessed though...I have a group of friends also going through infertility and knowing what I feel.  For that I am most grateful.

I know that I will make it through this year...maybe not completely without a few tears, but I will make it through.  Christmas is a time of miracles.  A miracle can be simple or as amazing as the birth of a child.  Either way, Christmas brings us hope.  Hope that a miracle can happen to me...or to any one of my friends dealing with this as well.

Christmas is also the time to pay it forward.  I know that this year will not be as hard as in the past.  My new friends have paid forward their positivity and optimism.  2012 will be the year for us.  Whether through adoption or us conceiving, we will not allow 2012 to pass without knowing the possibility of us having a child in our arms is possible. 

To all of you readers, I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Feast of the Solstice, and Happy Holidays.  May your dreams and ours come true.




**If you'd like to help me in anyway this Christmas season, I am asking that you pass this blog on to others and ask them to pass it on to others.  The goal of this blog is to raise awareness of infertility and make real the struggle that so many of us endure. Through this type of education we can help others understand and help society be a little easier to live in as someone who is childless.  Thanks so much..