A Time to laugh...A Time to Cry

Whether you have read in the Bible the book of Ecclesiastes or listened to the song, Turn, Turn, Turn by The Byrds, we have been told that there is a time for everything.  One of the phrases that often comes to mind for me is "a time to laugh, a time to weep."  For a woman dealing with infertility and on treatments, those times may often intercede each other on a frequent basis.  Heck, there are times through fertility treatment after treatment that I am sure my husband thought I had more personalities coming out at one time than Sybil.  (Ok...yeah..that dates me with that reference.)

Today's blog is about a time to laugh and cry.  For some, we will laugh and cry at the same time, thinking back (and probably for some it was just a day ago) at our own times of craziness and mood changes.  Some of us will cry remembering how difficult those times were. And for those who have never had to deal with infertility but read this out of support for us I have one thing to say:  Be afraid...be very afraid!  (lol!) 

I chose to be a little humorous today as they say that sometimes laughter is the best medicine.  And today I needed that medicine bright and early!  Recently at a small family event, I was face to face with a couple people whom I had defriended on my Facebook related to the whole "joke" post that was going around.  These people were supposed to care about me.  Instead they criticized me for being sensitive to my and others' infertility struggles.  At this recent event, they brought an 8 month old child of a friend of theirs with them.  During the course of the evening, at one point they came to my husband and I and asked if we wanted to hold this child.  This child who had no relation to our family.  This child that I would have no connection to after that moment.  Of course not!  And it wasn't their child.  They knew we would be there.  We felt it a personal attack against us.  They were rubbing in the fact that I couldn't have a child.  Here they were pretending to be "mommy and daddy" to this little one, flaunting her in front of my husband and I.  Even another family member felt they had done it for the same reasons as I had.  In light of it all, it was a time to laugh and a time to cry moment.

Had I not started standing up for the struggle I deal with daily, I may not have garnished the strength to make it through that event.  I may have left in tears as I had done in the past at events like this.  Instead, I remembered the "Believe in Miracles" bracelet that I wear now all the time and I remember that I am not aloe in this struggle and I continued on.  I actually laughed about it on the way home that night.  Ok...it was a sinister laugh (ha ha ha ha) but it was a laugh none the less.   I wasn't about to let them get me down this time.  While there were still tears coming from my heart inside, I was a stronger person.  I made it through.  I shouldn't have to be faced with these kinds of insensitive events in my life, but realistically I know that I can't avoid every one of them and I will be faced with laugh and cry moments.

So bring on the humor you say?  Yeah...that was a cry moment as I thought back to that event.  But we need some humor.  So I ran across a couple of jokes the other day and while some are probably not the most politically correct, they had me laughing almost to the point of tears.  So, I decided to post a few of them.  For some of you reading this, the jokes may not make sense...just bear with it.  If you tell the joke and someone gets it, even without saying you will know they deal with infertility and trying to get pregnant.  So here they go:

--How many infertility patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Screw in a light bulb!  Hmmm...do you think it might help?

--How does an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) like his eggs?  Over 20mm!

--You know you deal with infertility if :

• Someone asks you the date and you reply, "Day 21."
• If you've ever counted 1,2,3 after sex followed by throwing your ankles above your head for an absurd amount of time.
• If you wake up and the first thing you reach for is not your morning cup of coffee but a thermometer.
• If you've put your feet in stirrups more times than you've had sex in one week.
• If you find it perfectly normal to pee on a stick, stick it in a machine and wait to be told if your husband/partner is definitely going to get lucky that night.
• If you refer to events in DPO's (Days past ovulation for those not familiar with the term.)
• If the word cycling has nothing to do with a bike!
• If you have ever carried on a conversation with your ovaries and considered redecorating your uterus because someone told you it was "inhospitable."  (okay...yes...I do the conversation part.  Commence laughing...)
• If you've ever gotten up by 7 a.m. on a football weekend to do a shot and it wasn't of the alcoholic variety.
• If you seriously consider using the ultrasound pictures of your ovaries and follicles for your Christmas card picture this year.
• If foreplay consists of your husband asking, "How is your cervical mucus today?"
• If reaching the big "O" doesn't stand for orgasm anymore.

These are just a few of the ones I found out there as I was looking for humor.  Seriously, I laughed my butt off on a few out there....ones that I am sure my fertile friends will look at and with a quizzical look in their eyes go, "Huh?"

Remember, there is a time to laugh, a time to cry.  A time to be born, and a time to die.  For everything there is a purpose under heaven.  This purpose may not be easy.  But as we struggle with our infertility, may we not lose hope that for everything we go through, we must experience the opposite as well.   For experiencing the infertility, may we be blessed with fertility in some way.  I can't help think that this will be.  Gotta keep believing in miracles.